Soooooooo you want to hire me to make some magic with you? GREAT!!! I'm down! You've either met me, or someone told you about me, so the overwhelming odds are that you are the quality individual/organization that I would love to work with.
But just in case, because sometimes they can slip in unnoticed, I have developed a pest repellent system to weed out.... the Ninjas.
Yes I said it... NINJAS. If that offends you, you might be a Ninja.
But even YOU would appreciate the system I have developed because even YOU are tired of dealing with the NINJAS!!!! So here is my Ninja Repellent...
Biz Card. Basically the Biz Card is a Time card. 30 minutes to be precise. Cashapp 30 dollars, we talk for 30 minutes. Afterwards I will send it right back to you. If you waste my time, maybe I'll keep it. Nah, I'll give it back. And if I really enjoy our conversation, I might send you back a few extra bucks as a thank you. Someone recently did something like that for me to show appreciation, so why not pay it forward? (Thanks B).
That paragraph was a GREAT initial front line Ninja Defense!!! 30 bucks just to talk to you?? Yeah, PLENTY of em just dropped off!!! This is going to work!! 😁
Booking Fee. Ideally, when we talk, you are basically ready to "do something". Whatever your project may be. After we kick it and discuss your project, if we mutually decide we are going to make this magic together, I need to reserve a spot for you as a client. There are only so many people that I can work with at a time, so I must honor the clients I have and make sure I have the time to work with THEM, which means weeding out the time wasting and energy sucking vampire ninjas. See, I do not sell a product, TIME is my INVENTORY. And there is only so much of it. Every second has to be time well spent.
We don't have to have the particulars of the project fully defined yet. If we have established a Project Fee, you do not have to pay the Project Fee yet. You have 2 weeks to get it all together -- that is how long this Fee will hold your spot. Maybe we've talked, and you got the info you needed. We've agree to work together, but you need to do XY and Z, or talk to AB and C before we get started. Ok Cool. You got TWO weeks total to get back to me, and move on to the next steps (below), or guess what? LOL I'm taking that money and buying pizza and Mountain Dew and you end up losing the slot I was holding for you!
Yep.... This fee is non refundable. As soon as you give it to me, I'm going to spend it. You are not getting it back. Repeat: You are NOT getting it back. Should I type it in all CAPS and bold? You will never see those dollars again. I'm buying pizza, Mountain Dew, maybe some fancy food or toys for my cats... it is NOT going in escrow and given back in case we don't proceed, it is going in MY pocket and then into the economy.
That paragraph got rid of almost all the ninjas!!!
Shorty Pass. Ok you are a client in waiting, you paid your Booking Fee, and now you are ready to redeem your spot and become a Client. Reach deep into your pockets and pull out an additional $150 for your Shorty Pass. This total of $250 (the $100 Booking Fee + this $150) is the price of your Shorty Pass. That $250 is what is required to begin services as an OFFICIAL Client. YOU get to Pass Go. Why? Because you are special! Those without a pass, can just go.
Bye, Felicia.
YOU however, have a Shorty Pass. So when YOU call (if I am able at the moment -- I am not 911 sitting around waiting for a call or the doctor in the ER Room on call, and there are OTHER people who also are trying to get at me, and there is LIFE as well).... that said, if I am able, I will answer YOUR CALL -- YOU have a Pass (I hate talking on the phone, but if YOU call, and I am able to -- I am answering, because you have a Pass). You don't need to have paid the Project Fee at this point. It doesn't matter how much it is -- call me, email me, text me, messenger pigeon... whatever. Feel free to holla -- We are in the process (pre-process) of making that magic. This fee is also NON REFUNDABLE. So be SURE you want to do this!
Once you've paid the Project Fee, we will be actively making that magic. But at this stage, YOU have my ear -- you are A CLIENT (and not a ninja) -- YOU are NOT wasting my time.
YES!!!!! Any super resilient ninjas that were still hanging on for dear life with all the strength left in all of their little ninja hands and feet, well they just dropped off!!!
We are free and ninja clear now! Oh, I hope so.
So to recap it all and make it clear, from the moment you pay to Booking Fee to the time you have to pay the Project Fee is TWO WEEKS.
BTW... you set the price -- I don't. I really don't care.
My main requirement is that you know the VALUE of what the services you are receiving are (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond what you are paying) and recognize the level that you are receiving them on (high level, legit). Oh and yeah, understand the VALUE OF TIME.
The "Tell Them" Triptych attributed to Aristotle:
Tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them, and tell them what you told them.
Disclaimer: I was really close to not doing this stuff anymore. I really enjoy it, but people made it not worth it. This is my solution. All of this exists because of REPEATED experiences. I hate it and I hate the expression, "it is what it is" but... it is, what it is.
So prepare to make magic with me, or... be offended 🤣
Please don't be offended. I am just making a point -- I know my worth. I know I am worthy. The fact that YOU are here means you likely are just as worthy. So, let's make this magic TOGETHER.